Subject: Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite.  

 

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual

misconduct with his three children.  

I have recently become engaged to marry a former crack-addict prostitute who lives in Corpus Christi, She is a part time "working girl." All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to  bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

 

Should I tell her about my cousin who supports John Kerry for President?

 

 Signed,

 

Worried About My Reputation