1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago.

2. Good: Your wife is not talking to you. Bad: She wants a divorce. Ugly: She is a Lawyer.

3. Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you.

4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them.

5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids. Bad: You can't find your birth control pills. Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them.

6. Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He's a cross-dresser. Ugly: He looks better than you.

7. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections.